Pajamas, by default, always look great on women. There is literally nothing out there that’s sleepwear-related that doesn’t look sexy on women. Granted, some things are sexier than others, but in terms of judging sleepwear on a scale, it starts at “alright, I’m into that” and ends with “blinded by the sun.” Below are 23 pajama options that fall somewhere on that scale.
1. Romper There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, but don’t think you’re fooling anyone: This is a frilly sweatsuit. It’s still sexy. But this is just one step up from throwing on a tank top and an old pair of softball warm-up sweats. Is it sexy? Hell yea!
3. Black Lingerie With Garters Yes. This is obviously super sexy. The problem with lingerie is what I like to refer to as the “Diminishing Sexiness Returns Conundrum.” The sexier your lingerie is, the less time you will actually spend wearing it. So you can spend a ton of money on something sexy like this, and your boyfriend/girlfriend will probably be ripping it off of you within 15 seconds, tops.
4. Full-Length Pajamas (With Eye Mask) This outfit pretty much says, “We’re not having sex tonight.” The full-length pajamas hint at it, but the blindfold confirms it. The fuzzy slippers and reading material lock it in.
6. Red Lingerie As far as I’m concerned, this is just underwear. Sexy underwear, but it’s still indistinguishable from underwear. Great bedtime choice, but don’t be surprised if he has no idea you’re wearing lingerie.
Nah. These don’t even look good on guys, and we’re supposed to be wearing them.
HBO + SEX AND THE CITY
8. Bustier First impression: super sexy. Second impression: diffusing a bomb is easier than removing this underwear. Why would you turn me on and then make having sex with you into a puzzle? Except ofcourse, you will get it off yourself as quickly as you turned him on.
Hell yeah, animal print underwear is sexy. Don’t ask me why. It’s completely baffling. Maybe it harkens back to our primal instincts and awakens that part of our brain that used to fight leopards using sharpened rocks? Which, if you think about it, is a metaphor for sex.
12. Sweats Yeah, this is the least amount of effort you can put into your bedtime wear, but women still manage to look way better in sweats than men. Maybe it’s because tight sweatpants aren’t socially acceptable menswear. My point is, we still like you in sweats.
13. Sheer Nightie Unlike lingerie that isn’t sheer, this will stay on until we need to touch your nipples without fabric getting in the way. But otherwise, this is money well spent, since we don’t need to take anything off to actually see you naked.
15. Full-Length Onesie I guess this can be kind of sexy if you leave the zipper (mostly) undone. But what this outfit really says is, “I am basically a 12-year-old.”
16. Kimono Robe This is the classy lingerie. This is what billionaires wear to bed every night. Or James Bond love interests. This is an outfit that says, “I’m sexy, but I’m comfortable, and I have good taste.”
17. Bodysuit What is this? This looks like a bathing suit, except instead of jumping into a pool of water, you’re jumping into a pool of ~*dReAmS*~. I don’t fucking know. I’m too angry thinking about this existing to think it’s sexy.
20. Fancy Slip Not quite as sexy as some of the other lingerie options on here, but definitely sexier than some of the nighties. This straddles the line between sexy and practical. You could seduce someone in this and then wear it to sleep afterward.
21. Lingerie Costume What is happening? How is this not just a costume? The only people who buy this are probably ex-cheerleaders who peaked in high school and can’t let go of the past. Initially sexy, but the more I think about it, the sadder this is.
22. High-Waisted Briefs This sends so many mixed messages and just confuses me. It’s like sexy granny panties and I don’t know how I should feel about that.
23. Nothing You can literally never go wrong with this. This. Is. The. Best. Choice. Always.
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